No joke necessary.
Okay, so about 15 minutes after the start of tonight’s episode, we should have our final two Apprenti (is that the plural for Apprentice? That’s probably something I should look up.). Lisa Lampanelli was booted after speaking with Marlee Matlin and John Rich–the final two from last season who were quick to mention how much money was donated to their charities. Waiting on Trump’s final decision are Arsenio Hall, Clay Aiken, and Aubrey O’Day.
The guess here is that Arsenio is done. Clay did the best in the interviews and has performed strong all season. Trump would be silly to fire him. Then Aubrey has (for some reason) impressed Trump all season. This will be despite the fact that neither Marlee or John really liked her in their one-on-ones. I’d bet Hall goes on the basis that he had to many dust-ups throughout the season (think Meatloaf from last year).
So let’s see where this goes in week 13 …. most updated thoughts at the top. Feel free to join me in the comments.
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>> Ummmm, the Magic footage is of him not looking at the camera … at all … it’s focused on the left side of his body! Wowza. How would I solved this??? Just do a live shot from the West Coast with Magic. That doesn’t seem impossible, does it? See you next week for the finale.
>> Debbie is being impossible about this stupid mural by her cousin. Clay hasn’t even seen a sketch of what could go on the wall. Why would he commit to something he hasn’t seen?
>> The Magic footage is still processing (this can take a lot of time even for a short HD video), so Adam and Arsenio have to wait for the file to upload before it can be sent (which will also probably take a little bit). Carolla then drops a bombshell that his “video” team is actually just his podcast crew. That could be trouble…
>> Aubrey promising some random guy giving nothing less than $10,000. I bet it doesn’t reach that. Clay still seems behind in the money department.
>> Cool. Lisa wants to donate to Clay’s charity even though she’s not on his team (because he was helpful in getting money for her task). Shouldn’t all these celebs be doing that for one another at this point.
>> Clay is now fighting with Debbie about a bed of music in the PSA. I really don’t care.
>> The ONLY thing I’ll agree with Aubrey about is how annoying Debbie Gibson’s constant singing can be.
>> Anybody else think this is a long episode. …. I should be more into the final task episode.
>> Arsenio seems to have Magic Johnson ready to go, but preview into commercial makes it look like that might hit a snag. I doubt it stays that way for long. The only thing that could go wrong is it it’s shot in a weird way compared to the rest of the team on the East Coast.
>> Back after the break, Clay’s director of photography figures a way around the no grass in NYC problem. Finally!
>> Clay: “We’re at plan F .. for we’re f*****.” JUST GO TO CENTRAL PARK TO FIND YOUR STUPID GREEN GRASS!!!
>> Adam quote: “I like directing Teresa. She has something like a naivete. And I can say that freely because she doesn’t know what that word means. She’s at home looking that up right now.”
>> Paul Sr. with a blond perm. Brilliant.
>> Clay continues to have trouble finding a shooting location for his PSA while Arsenio is rolling away with his 80s theme. Ummm, if Clay is looking for a grassy field with a playground, there’s this place called Central Park that some people know about.
>> Clay quote: “It smelled like something died here. Welcome to New York City.” He says this about the park where they are trying to shoot his PSA. Hey, I know that LES Park right under the Manhattan Bridge!! I’d be disappointed if it didn’t smell like human feces.
>> Aubrey has 19,000 ideas right now for decor. Moreso, she wants to paint the entire room (which is giant). Clay tells her to slow the hell down. They decide to try Debbie’s cousin who paints murals. I don’t know if that’s any faster or simpler.
>> Arsenio is trusting Teresa to pick out the menu and the decor …. I could see failure in that somewhere.
>> Finally a unibrow joke aimed at Carolla! It came from Jeffrey Ross on the phone with Lisa.
>> Arsenio’s team reaching out to Alec Baldwin, George Lopez, Leno, Seinfeld. Clay finally brings up fundraising. It hurts that the Magic Johnson Foundation and Arsenio are two big names to compete with. Arsenio and his team also have bigger connections.
>> Arsenio makes a good point to Ivanka. Comedy can play to anybody. Music is more subjective to different audiences. Also, Clay is really focusing on a lot of really old, cheesy songs. Penn is flying in Teller to do the show. Don Jr. says there is no focus on raising money at this point.
>> Penn thinks there is an element of wallowing in the fact that children are disabled in Clay’s charity. Valid point that Clay has to give Penn a lot of credit for. However, I’ve yet to hear anything about raising money on Clay’s team. I don’t care how good the show is or what the ad looks like … Trump will respect the team that raises the most cash.
>> When getting 80s costumes, Adam and Teresa see giant rubber penises all over the costume store.
>> Clay is already worried that Penn is doing too much shooting down of ideas instead of going along with his ideas.
>> Arsenio is trying to get Magic Johnson to actually be in his ad. But they have to shoot him on the West Coast at Carolla’s studio. This could go awful. Arsenio’s first part of the ad would be comedy “We got rid of all the crap from the 80s, except AIDS” then trying to get serious. Interesting take.
>> Clay delegating tasks. Dee and Penn working on an ad. Aubrey working on decoration for the show. Debbie planning the actual performance.
>> Wait, just heard on Arsenio’s team that they only have 75 tickets to sell. So this is specifically a task of raising as much as possible for each ticket. If Carolla can get Jimmy Kimmel to buy a ticket for $2 million, that’s a great idea.
>> God-awful Aubrey quote: ” I always thought Clay was talented as a professional, but he’s always bugged me as a person. But when I hear him talk about his charity, I actually like him a little more.” Excuse me while I crush my skull in.
>> First pick in the draft is Adam to Arsenio. Clay follows with Penn. Arsenio goes comedy with Lisa and then Clay goes music with Debbie. To round it out, Arsenio takes Paul and Teresa. Clay goes with Dee and Aubrey. Aubrey was last. There is obviously a theme with the teams of comedy vs. music. The only weird choice was Clay with Penn, but he’s going with the guy he had one dust-up with.
>> The supporting task for Clay and Arsenio consists of Paul, Teresa, Aubrey, Adam, Penn, Lisa, Debbie Gibson, and Dee Snider
>> Clay and Arsenio learn their task from Donald, Don Jr., and Ivanka at Lincoln Center. They have to produce, host, and sell tickets to a celebrity charity event. Proceeds seemingly go to the charities (that’s nice), they must produce a 30 second video, and put on a variety-type show for the guests. There have been worse final tasks. And both of these guys are entertainers, so this might not be terrible.
>> Clay and Arsenio as the final two. On air they appear to be really friendly. They are kind of wishing each other the best before the next day when they will find out the task. I think Clay might be more focused on not finishing second on a reality show again.
>> Arsenio quote as he walks out the boardroom: “I’m going to get in your ass … ” I think that’s a misstatement of epic proportions.
>> Air kiss from Aubrey to Secretary Amanda as she departs on the elevator. Time to add that to my Apprentice fan-fiction …
>> Aubrey quote: “Whoever called me transparent, f*** them!” This was not in the boardroom.
>> Aubrey is fired!!!! I would have thought Clay would have gone over her, and definitely Arsenio.
>> Aubrey: “I’m not a developed person.” Weird comment. She said that in order to say she’s not transparent.
>> Arsenio has to defend himself for calling Aubrey a whore several weeks back.
>> Aubrey claims she’s an “underdog.” Ummm, okay.
>> Clay making his case early that he’s been on about 70 percent of the winning teams.
>> Trump quote: “There are no losers in this room.” Except for the person who will be fired, of course.
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The extended roster is below.
Former American Idol Clay Aiken, The National Inclusion Project
Retired race car driver Michael Andretti, Racing for Cancer
Talk show host Adam Carolla, Catholic Big Brothers Big Sisters
Actor/bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno, Muscular Dystrophy Association
Actor/TV personality Arsenio Hall, Magic Johnson Foundation
Magician/TV personality Penn Jillette, Opportunity Village
Former Twisted Sister singer Dee Snider, March of Dimes/Bikers for Babies
Star Trek’s George Takei, Japanese American National Museum
American Chopper’s Paul Teutul Sr., Make-A-Wish Foundation
Actress Tia Carrere, After-School All-Stars
Singer Debbie Gibson, Children International
Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Teresa Giudice, The NephCure Foundation
Growing Up Gotti’s Victoria Gotti, Association to Benefit Children
Comedian Lisa Lampanelli, Gay Men’s Health Crisis
Miss Universe 2008 Dayana Mendoza, Latino Commission on AIDS
Singer/actress/model Aubrey O’Day, Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
Model/actress Cheryl Tiegs, The Farrah Fawcett Foundation
Model/actress Patricia Velasquez, Wayuu Taya Foundation
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